Blog: The Solo Bolo Adventurolo

Hello fine folks of the internet! I am currently lounging and relaxing on the top of a bunk bed in a hostel, while someone snores quite loudly below me. How the hell did I end up in Bremen, and why? Lemme tell you.

Okay, to cut the short story even shorter; I found some really cheap airline tickets online (from Ryanair) and I bought one to Bremen. I know I know, mindblowing – even Pulitzer-prize-winning – stuff here. The kicker here is the interesting fact that I was going to travel alone, and I had never been to Germany before. Let’s see what happens together! And by together I mean you read this while I travel around and do cool stuff.

The Solo Bolo Adventurolo:

While this first part is called ‘Bremen’, most of day one wasn’t actually spent in the beautiful German town. The day started in my home far far away from Germany, where I somehow managed to pack a small backpack for three hours, while neurotically checking – only about a thousand times, give or take – if I had my passport with me.

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I’m sorry, but I have to stop the story here for just a second. While I’m writing this first part in the aforementioned hostel, someone in the room keeps farting in their sleep, and it keeps cracking me up because I am apparently 8 years old.

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My roommate was gracious enough to agree to drive me to the airport, which was about two hours away. Another friend joined in on the roadtrip just for fun.

And fun it was! Although, the past few weeks had been insanely hot in Northern Europe, and this Monday was no different. Fortunately for us, my roommate’s car had an AC. Unfortunately for us, it didn’t work. Imagine if Dante Alighieri wrote Dante’s Inferno, but based the entire story inside of a car. That’s how hot it was.

Through the blazing inferno, we managed to find ourselves in a restaurant eating hot wings, sardonically unaware of a concept called irony. Still, we survived and found the airport. With firm handshakes, we separated. In hindsight, it was probably the most fun part of the whole adventure.

The actual flight was fast and easy. I listened to Comedy Bang Bang while flying, and we landed safely in Bremen. Yes, people clapped when the plane landed.

Because I only had my backpack with me, and no other luggage to wait for, I found myself quickly – like shot out of a cannon – on the streets of Bremen by myself. My most trusted sidekick, Google Maps, told me that taking the tram would be the easiest and cheapest way to get to my hostel from the airport. What ensued was not easy, or cheap.

I bought a ticket from a friendly ticket machine, which could be thankfully used in English. The ticket was in German. FORESHADOWING.

I hopped on the next tram headed for the city center, wholly unaware of my coming tragic fate. A few stops passed by, and the city center of Bremen was almost in my sight. Another few stops, and as the tram stopped, a conductor stepped inside and started checking people for tickets. This was no problem of course, as I had a ticket, just as we’ve already established!

If only it had been so easy. The conductor, who looked like a villain from a live-action low-budget Disney film took the ticket from my hands; looked at it for a long time and said something unintelligible in German to me. I tried to clarify that I didn’t speak German, which seemed to affect the conductor/villain very little. She then asked for my passport, which I gave to her sheepishly. After writing things down for what seemed like an eternity, she looked at me with her cold, villanous eyes and said:

“Sixty euro please.”

Well that was unexpected. Again I tried to explain that I had bought a ticket just moments ago. Two elderly people who were sitting in front of me on the tram – who had been following the whole ordeal – then said that I was supposed to stamp the ticket inside the train while getting on. Thanks for the heads up. Not.

I was quite frustrated with the situation, to be honest. Tired from traveling for the entire day, I decided to avoid a verbal fencing match with the conductor/the entire population of Germany. I paid the fine, and got off the tram ASAP.

My first day in Germany, and my first tram ride had already cost as much as my flights there and back. At least I found the hostel easily, and took a nice refreshing shower, damn it.

Hey, tomorrow is another day! Now I’ll try to go to sleep while at least three people snore and sleepfart in this hostel room. Thanks, and goodbye.